Three factors control your connection. The same principles apply in social organizations, personal and professional interactions. Sometimes you are the disconnect; sometimesthe audience members are detached from you or your message. Generally this communication misfire is a combination.
Yes, God gave us two ears and one mouth. Are you really listening to the other person? Are you listening to both their words and their tone of voice? Ever heard someone answer the question, “How are you?” with the most deadpan, monotone “fine.” Listen to only the word and you go on as if everything is wonderful. In this case the tone of voice screams so loudly that the word is insignificant. When you are truly listening to both the words and the tone, you feel the problem. Immediately call a halt to further conversation. Something is not ‘fine’ with this person.
Most people listen for a break in the conversation in order to interject their input. Listening for a word, any word, from the other person qualifies a change of speakers in the conversation. Genuine listening is a silent form of flattery. Listening only for a gap between words or a sound of some sort from the other person does NOT qualify as genuine listening.
The first key to connecting with the other person is genuine listening.
The mumbled ‘fine’ indicates a mental or emotional preoccupation. This person is obviously not fine and not connecting with you at this point. Your timing for a discussion with them may not be ideal. If you are ready, willing and able to listen to them with an open mind and an open heart, your timing may be perfect. If you choose to push your own agenda at this moment, you will fail. The timing is far less than ideal. Pushing your own agenda when the other person is not mentally available to receive is like throwing feathers into the wind; you have zero chance of success in having your message hit the target.
Schedule a time to discuss your agenda item later when both parties are receptive. Your courtesy will be appreciated and your odds of success will be vastly improved. Change the time and perhaps even change the setting. Some discussions are better face to face than email or telephone. If you must discuss delicate matters on the telephone, asking if this is a good time to talk before you launch into the meat of the discussion improves the chances of success. Timing for a face to face discussion or even a telephone discussion is critical. Email timing is not as significant since people have the flexibility of opening and answering the email on their own time preference. Being cognizant of the other person improves the flow of effective communication. Simply asking, “Is this is a good time to talk for a few minutes?” Or ask, “When would be a good time for us to discuss ______?”
The second key to connecting with the other person is timing.
Connecting also requires the proper delivery of the message. Voice inflection or tones also convey messages. The exact same words receive totally different significance depending on the manner in which they are delivered. As noted earlier “fine” implies one meaning as a word and a totally different impression depending on whether it is delivered with a cheerful smile or a blah monotone.
The delivery of the same words will receive totally opposite results with different tones and facial expressions. A frown and clenched teeth delivery of, “We need to talk” will strike trepidation in the mind of the receiver. Saying “We need to talk” with a glint of a smile in the eyes and a mischievous lilting tone conveys a totally different impression. Delivery of the message depends on not only the words but also the tone of voice and manner of speaking. The tone and manner of delivery can easily overshadow the actual words.
Listen to the words and tone of voice as someone responds to you. Be courteous of the timing of your message to be certain the recipient is ready to receive. Deliver your message in a manner in which it will be received as you intend for it to be received. Listening, timing and delivery all affect the quality and reception of your message.
For additional fine points on connecting with your audience, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com.
Showing posts with label effective communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label effective communication. Show all posts
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
3 Keys To Success
Surveys of major corporative executives and business icons revealed three major keys to business success.
Ever known anyone who was absolutely brilliant but spoke in technical terms so far above most of the audience that they might as well have been speaking Greek? Speaking in insider acronyms or industry specific jargon is only effective with a very select audience. Everyone else mentally checks out within the first five minutes. The easy assumption seems to be that because the speaker knows the terminology, everyone should.
Bill Gates of Microsoft and Steve Jobs of Apple are both incredibly bright men and very technology savvy; however, their presentation style varies radically. One of the things Toastmasters teaches and every successful presenter knows is the importance of connecting with your audience. Effective communication is not optional. You may have the best book, the best web site, the best scientific proof; however, if you can not communicate it to audience in a language they understand and relate to, you have nothing more than a pretty document. Information only becomes valuable when it reaches out beyond the originator. Society receives no benefit from a closet report.
The first key to success is valuable information communicated effectively.
Problems exist everywhere. Personal problems, business problems, and social problems permeate our lives. Having the ability to solve problems is a tremendous asset. Solving problems in a cost effective manner is an even bigger asset. Add on solving problems while increasing morale and reducing employee turnover and you qualify for the executive washroom benefits package. Major executives must possess the ability to solve problems. The more “buy in” they receive from employees at all levels coupled with increases to the bottom line, the higher the bonus check.
If the company profits are to soar, you not only need the best pilot at the controls but also the right people in the right seats on the plane. Planes only fly effectively with the best people in the control tower and the right people on the ground crew. No major corporation ever soars effectively without a team effort. Problems will occur. It may be a lightening storm such as the economy tanking or ice on the wings such as a change in consumer demand for the products or an earthquake destroying the landing strip such as a union strike. Problems occur. The more effectively and swiftly these problems are solved, the more valuable the problem solver.
The second key to success is swiftly and effectively solving problems.
Ever see an employee evaluation which stated “does not work and play well with others.” Actually that phrase may have appeared on a kindergarten report card. Some never managed to acquire that attribute. In the problem solving section we described the importance of team work. Team work is not only the responsibility of the team leader, but also every member of the team. A wonderful team can easily come apart at the seams with one itchy, nit picky red ant. Working and playing well with others means everyone, just a few or when convenient. That attribute is extremely important for the team leader. The old expression about herding cats or organizing butterflies to fly in formation has direct impact on the team leader. A disorganized, dictatorial or micro manager team leader will not inspire his group to cooperate and play well together. Michael Jordan is a world acclaimed basketball player but Michael alone would not make an effective team. He frequently passed the ball to other players; he knew how to work and play well with others.
The third key to success is working and playing well with others.
Master the art and skill of effective communication, problem solving and team work and you will absolutely prosper in business and in life.
For specific tips and techniques for effective communication, problem solving and team coordination, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com.
Ever known anyone who was absolutely brilliant but spoke in technical terms so far above most of the audience that they might as well have been speaking Greek? Speaking in insider acronyms or industry specific jargon is only effective with a very select audience. Everyone else mentally checks out within the first five minutes. The easy assumption seems to be that because the speaker knows the terminology, everyone should.
Bill Gates of Microsoft and Steve Jobs of Apple are both incredibly bright men and very technology savvy; however, their presentation style varies radically. One of the things Toastmasters teaches and every successful presenter knows is the importance of connecting with your audience. Effective communication is not optional. You may have the best book, the best web site, the best scientific proof; however, if you can not communicate it to audience in a language they understand and relate to, you have nothing more than a pretty document. Information only becomes valuable when it reaches out beyond the originator. Society receives no benefit from a closet report.
The first key to success is valuable information communicated effectively.
Problems exist everywhere. Personal problems, business problems, and social problems permeate our lives. Having the ability to solve problems is a tremendous asset. Solving problems in a cost effective manner is an even bigger asset. Add on solving problems while increasing morale and reducing employee turnover and you qualify for the executive washroom benefits package. Major executives must possess the ability to solve problems. The more “buy in” they receive from employees at all levels coupled with increases to the bottom line, the higher the bonus check.
If the company profits are to soar, you not only need the best pilot at the controls but also the right people in the right seats on the plane. Planes only fly effectively with the best people in the control tower and the right people on the ground crew. No major corporation ever soars effectively without a team effort. Problems will occur. It may be a lightening storm such as the economy tanking or ice on the wings such as a change in consumer demand for the products or an earthquake destroying the landing strip such as a union strike. Problems occur. The more effectively and swiftly these problems are solved, the more valuable the problem solver.
The second key to success is swiftly and effectively solving problems.
Ever see an employee evaluation which stated “does not work and play well with others.” Actually that phrase may have appeared on a kindergarten report card. Some never managed to acquire that attribute. In the problem solving section we described the importance of team work. Team work is not only the responsibility of the team leader, but also every member of the team. A wonderful team can easily come apart at the seams with one itchy, nit picky red ant. Working and playing well with others means everyone, just a few or when convenient. That attribute is extremely important for the team leader. The old expression about herding cats or organizing butterflies to fly in formation has direct impact on the team leader. A disorganized, dictatorial or micro manager team leader will not inspire his group to cooperate and play well together. Michael Jordan is a world acclaimed basketball player but Michael alone would not make an effective team. He frequently passed the ball to other players; he knew how to work and play well with others.
The third key to success is working and playing well with others.
Master the art and skill of effective communication, problem solving and team work and you will absolutely prosper in business and in life.
For specific tips and techniques for effective communication, problem solving and team coordination, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com.
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