Push Emotional Buttons

It is just one of those days. Murphy’s Law declares that what could go wrong, will go wrong. Parkinson’s law states that Murphy was an optimist. When one of those situations slaps your face and kicks your emotional equilibrium out of the park, sit back, take a deep breath and use a tension release system.
Abraham Lincoln perfected a system of expounding on his thoughts without regard to what anyone might think about his language. Political politeness never entered the consideration. He wrote a letter with full open expression of his thoughts. Frequently these letters were addressed to various Union officers who made tactical battlefield errors resulting in tremendous loss of life. Each letter was written in detail, folded, placed in an envelope and deposited in the steamer trunk mailbox. None of these letters ever reached the recipient or the US Postal system. The Lincoln “letter to the steamer trunk” system provided an effective venting system without harming anyone.

Ed Tate, professional speaker and coach, introduced the “scream at a chair” system. Imagine the object of your displeasure seated in the chair; rant and rave to your heart’s content. This method is best used out of earshot of your neighbors or any household members. This is particularly unsuitable in the vicinity of small children or animals. This method is far less expensive and less messy than throwing china against a wall.

My personal favorite emotional release technique is physical. No, not throwing china. Go for a run, go for a long walk, take a bike ride or go to the gym and lift weights. Physical activity releases negative pent up energy in a positive way. Physical exercise burns calories as opposed to eating a pound of chocolates or a gallon of ice cream which adds calories.

Rent a funny movie, listen to your favorite comedians’ CD or watch their DVD. Laugh. Laughing is another way of releasing tension. If you plan on hysterical laughter, once again you may choose to be out of hearing distance of your neighbors. Though they will not call the gentlemen with the pristine white straight jackets to come get you for laughing too much, doing this too frequently may raise eyebrows.

None of these tension relievers will cause the nice officers with the flashing lights atop their vehicles to give you a breathalyzer or take you to a cozy enclosure with a roommate named Bubba.

Everyone experiences having their emotional buttons pushed. Sometimes our family, friends and co-workers perfect the technique of knowing exactly where to insert the emotional electric shock barb.

Science has not discovered the exact location of a filter between the thoughts and the outward sound of the knife sharp words. In fact, the possibility exists that some people may have a faulty installation of that filter. Not everyone came equipped with a “think before you speak” mechanism. Some people seem completely oblivious of the necessity for such a filter. Some people are simply oblivious to the feelings of others; they either do not care or are unconscious of verbal impacts.

Remember, it is not about you, it is their issue. Unfortunately you are left to deal with the wounded ego.

It is not a matter of IF your emotional buttons will be pushed, but when. Reacting openly and with hostility to the perpetrator of the verbal zinger only extends your pain. The more public attention you draw to the insult, the more impact it has on everyone. Let it go and use the Lincoln letter, scream at a chair, physical exercise or laugh system to relieve your tension and restore your sanity.

Once you are in a calmer mindset, you will be better equipped to handle the situation in a manner that you will not regret later. Fortunately you received the filter from thoughts to words as original installation.

In case your filter has a faulty installation, contact me at www.Elaine4Success.com for a filter implementation or repair.