Management Issues

Executives attend “Anger Management” classes after an incident in the workplace. Domestic violence situations require “Anger Management” class attendance. Children earn a trip to the principal’s office for anger management following playground issues.

Be realistic! Why would anyone choose to retain their anger and manage it rather than resolve the underlying cause? Anger destroys the person who clutches that nasty emotion to their soul. Anger rarely has any redeeming value whatsoever. Anger tears at the soul. Anger offends the peaceful spirit.

A wise elder from the Indian tribe instructed his grandson about the struggle within his heart. Within every man there are two wolves constantly at battle. One wolf represents hatred, war, hurtful words and various forms of evil. The other wolf embodies love, kindness, helpfulness, peace, thankfulness and joy. These wolves battle incessantly all day every day through the day and night. “Grandpa, wise one, which wolf wins the battle,” queried the boy. “The one I feed,” advised the elder.

We each contain a choice every day. We choose to feed the evil wolf or the gentle wolf.

Apply this same emotion and intensity to grudges. Maintaining an emotional death grip on a grudge hurts you even more than anger. Frequently the object of your displeasure may not even be aware of the offense they have supposedly so grievously committed. You are the only one suffering. Unless you are masochistic, grudges have zero value.

Debt management follows exactly the same ridiculous pattern. Our society’s emphasis on “instant gratification” propels us into debt. Rather than resolving the root causes of careless spending, we tend to pile debt upon debt until we amass a Mt. Everest stack of bills on a below sea level income. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to predict an impending disaster.

This isn’t a NATO project. You pretend you aren’t keeping up with the Jones family as you buy another new car which you really did not need. Do them a favor and stop the nonsense. They probably can’t afford you either. Piling up the credit card bills foolishly just to “look good in the neighborhood” makes about as much sense as wearing your ski helmet on the beach. Christmas “one upsmanship” provides the fuel for impending bankruptcy.

Debt management, or lack of financial responsibility, compounds the tension. More domestic arguments directly relate to financial issues. Debt issues spiral into anger issues. Anger management becomes the kissing twin of debt management. These siblings interact with the intensity of the atom bomb. One feeds on the other snowballing into an avalanche of red hot negative emotion.

Take a deep breath, step back, and view the cause of the anger and the cause of the debt. Resolve right now to take positive action to halt the nonsense.

Give gifts of the heart this Christmas. Spend time really loving your family and listening to them. Take the extra time to say “I love you.” Love salves many an angry spirit. Everyone, especially children, loves toys and presents at Christmas time. You might be surprised to discover that the gift they truly desire the most is actually your undivided time, attention and love.

Feed the gentle wolf. Anger management can be eliminated by dissolving the root cause of the anger. Debt management is minimized and brought under control by emphasizing love more than things as gifts this Christmas.

Anger evaporates when you feed the gentle wolf. Life becomes more peaceful. Managing anger is not the answer; resolving the cause makes sense. Debt management flows down the same stream as anger management. Resolve the cause; earn more income and spend more wisely. Feed the gentle wolf.

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God Winks

Christmas is a religious holiday as well as a commercial holiday. The word “holiday” draws its meaning from “holy day.” For Christians all over the world, Christmas means more than shopping, holiday parties and sending cards to people we have neither seen nor heard from in a year. For Christians, the season of Advent and Christmas means the birth of the savior.

My faith is the core, the center of my life. No, I’m not going to preach to you. I am sharing my feelings which run very deep in my soul. Tonight our church presents “Lessons and Carols.” Lessons of the season from various authors and scripture readings as well as traditional Christmas carols entertain and inspire the audience. I thoroughly enjoy both the music and the messages.

I am reading tonight from James W. Moore’s “What Do You Want for Christmas?” My segment relates to Mary. “Mary was just a teenage girl from a poor family who lives in an obscure village in a tiny nation, which itself was subject to a despised foreign power. Then one day, out of the blue, an angel came to Mary with a message from the Lord: “Do not be afraid, Mary for you have found favor with God. And behold you will conceive and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great. He will be the Messiah, the Son of God, the Savior of the world.” And all of this was going to happen without Mary’s ever having been with a man.

Just imagine going out to lunch with the girls and telling them a story like this. How many of your friends would immediately think you flipped? Who would pull out their cell phone and start calling for the straight jacket and the reservation in the padded room? Who would start asking you to be honest and tell them the father’s name?

We are so skeptical and critical in our modern society that the automatic response would be total disbelief. Granted, to my knowledge and belief, there has only been one virgin mother. We are so closed to miracles and little “winks from God” that we tend to close off all possibilities. I believe “God winks” at us on a regular basis. We call it coincidence or accidental meetings or even luck, but I am convinced God speaks loud and clear even today. The problem with the sophisticated modern world is that we are so wrapped up in ourselves and taking personal credit for all of the wonderful unexpected events that we fail to give credit where credit is due.

Thankfully for the world, Mary did believe. She possessed real faith, real hope and real trust. Fortunately, Joseph her fiancée, also believed and trusted her: after his own angel visited him, he believed her. Mary willingly listened to God’s word, obeyed God’s will, and trusted her future to His plan. This entire situation put her in an extremely awkward and complicated set of circumstances. Even then, gossips probably had a field day at her expense.

None of us will ever be in Mary’s situation, but we are certainly able to open our minds and hearts to seek wisdom. We can and should ask for guidance and listen for the answer. Being a very strong, independent and self-reliant person, the act of relinquishing control has been a struggle for me. Wisdom and sage counsel comes from many sources. Open your mind to research, seek guidance, listen with an open mind and take appropriate action.

At times, I admit to saying to that still small voice, “No, that can not happen. That’s impossible.” When I finally relinquish and accept the wink from God, the result proves to be wonderful beyond my wildest expectations. I’m not egotistical, but at times I am quite single minded. I’m working on opening myself to wise counsel and listening for the times when God winks at me.

The second of Andy Andrews 7 Decisions from “The Travelers Gift” is seeking wisdom. I promise to open my mind to seek wise counsel, listen fully and intently for the answer and take action. God still winks and speaks. Our job is to listen and follow the guidance.

For more articles and inspiration, join me at www.Elaine4Success.com.

Christmas Traditions

Christmas is a religious holiday, a commercial holiday and a family time. It is the season when perfectly sane, or so it would seem until now, adults attempt to correspond with 100 people they may not have heard from or seen all year. It’s a time to re-connect. Ideally, we write hand written letters to include in each card or at least a hand written note. Unfortunately many of us, myself included, write a general update letter and include a copy with every card. At least a general update letter conveys the news of the year. The letter represents a gift of communication.

Christmas is more than gifts, it is also traditions. One of my treasured traditions in Steamboat is the torch light parade. The entire ski school instructor staff, ski patrol and other privileged accomplished skiers perform the torch light parade. We started at the top of the mountain in pitch black. Zero lights on the slopes. We each carried a torch. When you consider 50 to 60 people with torches and sparks flying, you soon learn to wear something other than your favorite ski outfit. Imagine these skiers skiing down the mountain and performing various designs as they travel. Such a spectacular sight. We ski straight down the face of the mountain from the gondola in full view of a crowd at the base of the mountain. Skiing in the dark presents a challenge, add the fact that you are holding a torch in the air and skiing in and out of formations at the same time. Such a beautiful and precision sight, from the bottom, but a bit different when you are the one on skis conducting the moves. Fortunately I have never seen anyone slip and fall. This would not be the ideal time for a domino effect.

Another Steamboat tradition is the lighted man. The tradition started in the 1940s by Claudius Banks. Claudius started skiing down Howelsen Hill ski mountain with road flares strapped to his suit. The tradition started during the now-famous Steamboat Winter Carnival. His son Jon joined him in 1971 and the duo skied together until 1978. Jon has since moved away; however, he returns to Steamboat every year for Winter Carnival. It takes Jon 100 hours to rig his Nomex racing suit and another 100 hours with the pyrotechnic team to prepare for the 10 minute run. He has rockets shooting from a halo around his head, rockets from the back of both shoulders, lights from the toe of his boots all the way up to his waist, lights covering his ski poles and flares shooting from the top of his ski poles. The controls for all of these fireworks are located in the handles of his ski poles. Oh, he also skis down in the dark. Talk about lighting up the holiday and carrying on a family tradition.

Family traditions form the basis of so my holidays. One of my personal favorites consisted of cookie baking. I remember endless hours in the kitchen with my mother baking. Mom’s favorite holiday treats were fudge, divinity and peanut brittle; however, we also baked several varieties of decorated sugar cookies and other delectable sweet treats. Mom learned to bake without recipes so she taught me art of creativity and instinct for baking. It served me so well that later in life I actually owned, operated and did the bulk of the baking for a commercial bakery. Candy Mountain Culinary Creations occupied the location at the base of the Steamboat Ski Mountain in the 1980s.

Mom also taught me to sing acappella during our baking time. Amazing benefits from a family holiday tradition.

I carried the cookie baking tradition forward with my two sons. They pulled a chair up to the counter and “helped” by pouring in ingredients, mixing and dropping the cookies on to the cookie sheet. Not really certain if their favorite part was mixing, dipping a finger in to the dough, decorating or eating the warm cookies.

Whether you are celebrating Christmas in the mountains, or elsewhere, what a wonderful season to carry on family traditions or start new ones. Holidays are a great time to count your blessings.

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