Communication is a 2 way process. Communication is not just about speaking and presenting your point of view. Communication is also about listening. Too often we find people listening for a break in the conversation so that they can speak. Or people listen for just enough information to present their point of view. Very rarely do people listen for the intent and purpose of truly hearing the other person.
Listening is a silent form of flattery. Being a focused and interested listener is a way of demonstrating the value we place on the other person. One of the sweetest gifts you can ever give is showing you are truly interested in the other person.
Valuing people and treating them as valuable is one of the major keys to leadership. When you hold people at a distance, they can not hurt you, but they will not help you when you are detached from them. Every one of us wants to feel valued. When you listen intently to another and allow them to express their thoughts and feelings, they are more likely to choose to listen to you. The old golden rule still applies to treat others as you would like to be treated. Start that process right now by truly listening to others.
Communication has many aspects. It is speaking, listening, writing, and even video. Body language is significant in all of that expect writing. When you listen to someone, lean forward slightly. Sitting back or crossing your arms across your chest indicates withdrawal or resistance. Crossed arms are also a sign of closing off from someone or something. If you are on the telephone, use these same body movements to assist in focusing on the speaker. It is most distracting and even disrespectful to hear someone typing while someone else is speaking. If you must take notes, either mute your phone or take the notes by hand. Focus your eyes on them rather than letting your gaze wander around the room. An occasional head nod showing agreement also affirms that you are paying close attention. Body language is very important.
When I had the property management company in Steamboat, I would put a mirror in front of my reservation agents. Even the facial expression of a smile or a frown transmits through the phone. Amazing that such a subtle change in the facial expression of the speaker could be received by the listener, but it absolutely transmits. If you believe you can fake enthusiasm or even a positive attitude, forget it. Know it or not, the other person really does pick up on you state of mind. You would need to be a very convincing actor or actress to avoid detection.
One of the greatest communication services you can render is to be genuinely interested in the other person. People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Make it a great day. Happy communicating.
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