Games We Play

Christmas time encompasses family time. Sometimes those family times include games. As a youth, we played card games and board games. Generally those games were at the kitchen table or kitchen counter with a friendly, most of the time, competition between my brother and me.

With my sons and now my grandsons, I used games to teach strategic thinking, sharing, friendly competition and family fun. Games appear on many levels. From the childhood games of “Old Maid” or “Go Fish” or “Sorry” to the adult games of “Bridge” or “Monopoly,” card games and board games provide family interaction and fun.

Card games and board games represent entertainment. Other games, such as the blame game, represent destruction. So many people write me for coaching, mentoring and general assistance on a daily basis. The “blame game” keeps rearing its ugly head. My heart breaks for the person who hangs on to old wounds and drags around hurt feelings.

In many cases, the individual who supposedly committed this egregious act has passed away years ago. If the offender has departed this earth, the only one left to make amends is the offended. In many cases the offender did not even know of their mental or emotional crime. Obviously they are no longer able to correct the problem.

First, the blame game never benefits anyone. Martyrdom is highly over-rated. Get over it. The deceased no longer suffers from this problem; the only one suffering is the living. Therefore, the only one who can relieve the suffering is the one holding on to hurt. Why hold on and suffer, unless you particularly like to feel sorry for yourself. You chose to feel hurt and you can choose to get over it and go on with life.

Hearing that you chose to feel hurt, offends some people. Sorry, feeling offended does not change the facts. You told yourself a story, repeated the story in your thoughts and words, and chose to believe it as factual. If you chose the story, thoughts, words and beliefs in the first place, you can choose to dismiss them in the present. You are in control. You choose to continue to suffer or you can choose to be happy and go on with life.

Many people come to me with woes about how their family treated them. They say I could not possibly relate. My childhood was 180 degrees from ideal but I learned to change my perspective, learn from those incidents and resolve never to repeat them. My parents did what they did for whatever reason they did it. It’s over and done. I am not a small child and they are no longer on the earth. Forgive, learn, grow and go on. Wayne Dyer, author, lecturer, professional speaker and motivation master, says, “Your friends are God’s way of apologizing for your relatives.” Cultivate and enjoy your friends. Heal, forgive and let go of your past. Live today in peace and joy.

This same “blame game” scenario goes on in business every day. People blame their boss or their sponsor or their co-workers. Reality check! You chose to accept the job or you chose to enter the business. You are responsible for creating your own success and happiness. Neither your parents, nor your boss, nor your sponsor has the obligation of making you happy and profitable. Few of us were handed a silver spoon or a trust fund when we arrived in this world. Few of us were handed a ready-made successful business. Building a successful business takes work, dedication, learning, persistence and consistency. Just as Suze Orman says, “If you want to know the best financial advisor for you, look in the mirror.” The same holds true for your business. “If you want to know who is responsible for creating success in your business, look in the mirror.”

The “blame game” eats away at your very soul. Blaming others hurts you and everyone who cares about you. Notice, when people do not care about your feelings, they do not hurt. You are probably only hurting yourself. Unless you enjoy being a martyr, get over it and go on. You are responsible for your thoughts, feelings and results.
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