No excuses

There are so many people who inspire me in my life. One of the most significant in my life was Earl McCray, my grade school and high school music teacher. He believed in me when I did not know how to believe in myself.

Just a bit of background which puts that in perspective. I say this from the heart in order to inspire others to know they can not only survive difficult situations but actually thrive.

Picture me as a little 3 year old girl with long dark brown finger curls spiraling down my back. I am standing in the Kansas sunshine out by the barn on the farm with my daddy. He looks down at me and says, you’re just a d_____ girl. I didn’t want you. I wanted a boy who would be worth something.” You can imagine the shock and hurt.

I ran to my mother in tears. She confirmed that they were both disappointed and that they had wanted another boy.

Something inside me, maybe my stubborn pride, made a decision that day. I decided to make them proud of me. Instead of rebelling, I became the ideal obedient child. I n the days and years to follow, I studied the piano; I read every book within my grasp. I learned the c melody saxophone, then the e flat alto saxophone and then the b flat clarinet. I sang in all of the small groups and choirs. I participated in all of the school plays. In order to participate in any extra activities after school, I stayed in town with an unmarried aunt. Actually, staying with Aunt Mara was fun. I enjoyed the experience very much.

My music offered me not only creative expression but also an opportunity to be around people who valued me. Earl McCray constantly encouraged me to challenge myself. His most significant encouragement came at the time of my high school graduation. Earl told me to apply for scholarships to the University of Kansas. I did.

Thanks to Earl and Dale Lemon, my high school principal, I received that coveted scholarship. Imagine my pride as I brought home the paperwork and announced that I would be attending the University of Kansas. Since I was only 17, I needed my parent’s signature. My father refused to sign declaring that I was a d____ girl and did not deserve a college education. So much for a scholarship to KU.

By now, I was even more determined to earn a college degree. Long story short, I found a ride to Kansas State College of Pittsburg and ran away from home.

No money, no job and no place to live but an iron will determination to succeed. Was it easy? Absolutely not. I somehow managed to get a place to live in the dorm, old Willard Hall. I found a job at the college. I lived on grilled cheese sandwiches and extra pickles at the College Inn Café. Yes, I know that was horrible nutrition but it was the cheapest item on the menu.

It was during my time at Pittsburg State College that I met my second mentor, Dr. Bill Reilly. Doc, as we affection ally called him, was not only a law professor but an absolutely brilliant man. I had the privilege of being his student secretary for 2 years. His vocabulary was so extensive that I literally sat with the dictionary to transcribe his dictation. He was such an inspiration in so many ways. In fact, we remained in touch until 3 years ago when he passed away.

My mentors, my stubborn determination and the grace of God contributed to my graduation from college in 3 years with a double major, double minor, and a Superior Student designation. No, my parents did not attend my high school or college graduation; however, Doc Reilly gave me a graduation party with all of my favorite professors and special friends. He even gave me long stem roses from his personal rose garden.

Roadblocks, challenges and disappointment can either crush us or make us stronger. I chose to grow and achieve despite the circumstances. Hmmmm, maybe my strength actually grew from the challenges even more than it would have with an easier path.

I’m grateful for everything in my past. Yes, grateful. It shaped me to become the strong leader and successful entrepreneur which I am today.